Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
