just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
