But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize