my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
