Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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