Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
