I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize