Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
