we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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