And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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