Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We have so much sex to catch up on
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
