Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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