i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
