The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
