Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
