My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
