Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I need to sanitize my soul.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
