What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
