Yo dont text me then not text me
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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