dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
