I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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