you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
When are your genitals available?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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