Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
