Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
