kristin has been a bad kristin
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
