Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
