Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
