I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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