I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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