you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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