hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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