Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
