the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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