I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i think i have two assholes
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
