I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
