i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
