i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
