my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You did what with his pubic hair?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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