Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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