You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
