So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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