Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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