he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
