Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
