I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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