oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
