Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
