Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
