Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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