You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I lost the right to judge tonight
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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