boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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