Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
