Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
