Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
should my penis look like a turkey
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
