I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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