the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
