he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize