He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
