alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize