We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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