Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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