U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
