Christians are straight up FREAKS
I hate your face
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
